When Your Own Hound Bites You

I am in Frump Heaven, dearies. For the client of yesterday who had so many projects due immediately (and had been informed they would come in due time) is now lost in his own process. Oh, the joy and rapture of seeing the client scramble to keep up with his own edits and his own work! Frumpie takes more than a little giddy delight in watching as this particular web of craziness unravels all over the client. He’s lost in numerous edits, can’t find files, and is calling yours truly to try locating what I believe may be his mind. I forwarded all recent updates right to the client once again and went back to work on other projects.

I’m just tickled to see the client thrust into his own madness, leaving me out of it for a change.

Juggle, Juggle, Juggle, Juggle….

Busy as a little worker bee is your Frumpie this week. While yours truly enjoys having oodles of work, we do not enjoy being expected to complete multiple projects on the very same deadline. Today’s client has four projects for Frumpie. Four projects – one deadline. We had to laugh out loud at the ridiculous notion that all four rather large projects would be completed by today. Once we set the client straight that this was not part of Frumpie’s plan, we set out to complete one at a time.

Oh, the best laid plans of Frumpies aft gang aglee. Urgent message number one stated that the smaller of the four had to be completed right this minute. So Frumpie complied. Then on to project number two, only to be interrupted again with an amendment to project number one. Amendment completed and back to project number two. Another frantic interruption to get Frumpie to deliver project number three instantly. Now Frumpie’s receiving yet another message about project number one and how this client wants yet another change. And where is that project number three? Exactly four hours into my frumping work day, I wonder just how much time I would have saved had the client bothered to send the project prioritized as I’d requested?

Frump you, client. You’re beginning to be a bigger pain in the posterior than money could ever compensate for.

The Glory is All Yours if the Check Clears

Dearies, I’m currently working with an odd soul who in the past had to be threatened before he would pay yours truly. Mind you, I would not go back to that particular situation unless there were other payment arrangements, which there are. So payment is not an issue.

The oddball’s need to shine, however, is. I work with his client directly. Frumpie was hired by his client under this oddball’s radar ages ago and has had a nice few years of stress-free work with lovely people. In this latest project, which oddball was supposed to handle, Frumpie’s been pulled into it because oddball’s client wants me there, knowing I communicate well with them and usually deliver exactly what’s expected. We pretend we haven’t worked together in a while so as not to upset the oddball.

Enter the latest project, which Frumpie received directly from oddball’s client. Things were going along beautifully until out of the blue, oddball called. He wanted to discuss “necessary changes” to one particular item. Fine. Turns out the changes weren’t all that deep and it was just one sentence in particular, so we got through it rather quickly. I sent the revision to oddball and to the client.

This note comes back from the client: “Thanks so much for the copy! We’re so glad HE showed up!” Apparently, oddball had taken all the glory for my piece. Do I care? Not really. His clients know it was my work. They received the initial item from me a day prior to his getting involved. And they’re paying me directly, so as long as the check clears, I don’t care who takes credit.

Isn’t it odd how some little people cannot live without accolades and think nothing of labeling the work of others as their own? In this case, oddball ends up with egg on his face, for he didn’t know I’d already sent the original to the client and he’d missed the boat in grabbing credit.

Frump you, you putz. You managed to make yourself look foolish. As long as you don’t attempt to make me look likewise, we’ll have no issues. But oh, if you cross that line….

Try Speaking in Full Sentences

Delightful clients abound. Those who give us lovely projects to work on, who enjoy our skills, and who bring smiles to our faces are the icing on our work-related cake. However, there are those who land on that icing like a drunken fly with a dull, dirty thud.

Enter Projects O’ Plenty! The client is silent for a year and then suddenly needs A, B, C, D, E and oh, we need F, but finish that one first! Yesterday, of course. We must have it as soon as your fingers can create magic, but how about within the hour? Fine, dear soul, for I’m charging you double-time to do it.

Because the joyous one is giving me all these projects en masse, Frumpie is also walking through (oh, let’s tell the truth: sprinting through) numerous edits involving quick notes and skewed messages. Today’s round was giggle-producing, for I am getting paid double, as I mentioned. We shan’t fret the additional stress when adequate compensation accompanies it.

The project was sent in as requested and this note came back, “Oh, you should look at this website, for we’re also wanting to promote this (totally unrelated) angle.”

At this rate of pay, I can continue this back-and-forth all day, dearies. That’s today’s moral: If you are to be harangued by client schizophrenic behavior, do so at a much higher pay rate.

Dream the Impossible Dream

Dearies, I adore having enough work to keep me in my fabulous career, really I do. What I do not adore, quite honestly, is unreal expectations of my abilities. I should be flattered that a current client believes I can edit 800 pages of text by tomorrow, but when reality bears down on the project, there goes the opinion of my abilities. I’m quite happy to work hard for you, dear, scattered, clueless client, but I am not willing to work 24 hours straight and then attempt to find another 24 hours within that same day, for that’s the only way your project is going to be completed.

With at least a dozen separate files, this project is producing more reasons than ever for this Frump to head to the local salon for a more intense touch-up to the white hairs that are springing up like dandelions on a June lawn.

Client, your lack of planning is your issue, not mine. There may be a fire with flames and smoke, but I fail to see how that fire should be burning my feet, especially if compensation isn’t increased to offset the additional stress on my weary bones.