Nightmare on Writing Street

Once upon a time, there was a nice little Writing Frump who did the best to please her clients. She was going about her business one day when she was approached by Controlling Client. Only Controlling Client was disguised as a very nice client who needed a writer for several articles. Frump was only too pleased to help, for it was an area of study which made Frump go weak in the knees and created giddy pleasure in her toes.

All went well with the first article, which Frump delivered on time to Controlling Client. It was shortly thereafter that Frump saw the ugly side of Controlling Client. “We need someone on record about this topic.” Frump did her best, calling numerous contacts (23, to be exact), and managed to get one on the record. She returned happily to Controlling Client the good news.

Not good enough! For the Controlling Client now said “No, we need more. One person isn’t enough.” Frump explained to Controlling Client that nearly all contacts were saying no thank you to the request. Some were denying any knowledge of the topic area. Controlling Client kept pressing. Frump said, “But aren’t their reactions part of the story? Isn’t that the point?” Apparently not, for Frump’s story was turned down in whole. Controlling Client was leading the story, which in journalism talk is a big no-no.

Worse, Frump was then chastised for going out of town and not providing a cell phone number or an IM handle for Controlling Client. See, Frump had business elsewhere, yet Controlling Client decided to wait an entire week after Frump had turned in the article to actually read it. The frenzied messages on Frump’s answering machine and the curt emails indicated the extreme Controlling Client’s unhappiness and stress. When Frump informed Controlling Client that the following week Frump would be out of the office for three days, Controlling Client wanted a cell phone number. Frump, not being born yesterday, denied the request. Frump told Controlling Client that she would be happy to work on the project at hand when she returned on Wednesday. Controlling Client was clearly upset and despite being told about Frump’s absence, called Frump several times during Frump’s hiatus, leaving frantic messages. Frump soon dropped Controlling Client and lived blissfully among normal clients for a long, long time.

The moral of this story: Letting a client dictate your working hours makes you an employee of that client, and thus your client owes you benefits and paid vacation. Feel free to quote the IRS tax code to clients who insist on owning your work time. Oh, and letting a client dictate your time off makes you a child of that client, so unless that’s your mother on the other end of the email, it’s inappropriate and you should never agree to being treated that way. Even by your mother.